Jamie Thomson - Eternal Detention - Hachette Children's Group

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  • Paperback £6.99
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    • ISBN:9781408330258
    • Publication date:03 Apr 2014
Books in this series

Eternal Detention

Book 3

By Jamie Thomson

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.

Fear me, o miserable worm!

I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed...

BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

-Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame
-Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil
-Torment by the Hewer of Limbs

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Biographical Notes

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781408330289
  • Publication date: 03 Apr 2014
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Orchard Books
A lot of fun! Unusual, funny and absurd. — Parents in Touch
A lot of fun! Unusual, funny and absurd. — Parents in Touch
Really quirky and very very funny — Lewis Beaumont, Liberton High, Teen Titles
Really quirky and very very funny — Lewis Beaumont, Liberton High, Teen Titles
Orchard Books

Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Orchard Books

Headmaster of Doom

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ...Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics.Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.

Orchard Books

A Galaxy Too Far

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Harry was just an ordinary teenage boy from Croydon when he was abducted by aliens and accidentally became the captain of their starship. His quest to get back home to Earth continues - but now he's acquired an alien 'son' and a new spacecraft, and he's being pursued by an eight-foot robot bounty hunter...Could this be a galaxy too far for Harry?Another hilarious story from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of the DARK LORD series.

Orchard Books

The Wrong Side of the Galaxy

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Abducted by aliens, Harry wakes up on his birthday marooned on a spaceship. His only companions: two freaky princess clones, a weird alien-fish-kangaroo hybrid with delusions of grandeur and a ship's computer with a serious attitude problem. It's the worst birthday ever.How is he ever going to get back to Earth now?A brilliantly silly new story from the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize

Hodder Children's Books

A Lazy Afternoon

Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler
Contributors:
Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler

Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog find excitement and adventure wherever they go in Enid Blyton's most popular series.It's so terribly hot, the Famous Five are having a lazy afternoon... but the gang don't get the peace and quiet they imagined! What are the men on the motorbikes up to? Can they be stopped?In addition to the Famous Five novels, Enid Blyton wrote a clutch of short stories based on the characters. These were published in magazines and collected in the Famous Five Short Story Collection (Hodder). For the first time, the complete and original text of A Lazy Afternoon (1956) appears in an individual volume, illustrated with brand new colour art by Jamie Littler.

Hodder Children's Books

Good Old Timmy

Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler
Contributors:
Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler

Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog find excitement and adventure wherever they go in Enid Blyton's most popular series. After the Five see a boy being kidnapped at the beach, they set out to find him. But where have the kidnappers hidden the boy? Will Timmy lead them to the answer? In addition to the Famous Five novels, Enid Blyton wrote a clutch of short stories based on the characters. These were published in magazines and collected in the Famous Five Short Story Collection (Hodder). For the first time, the complete and original text of Good Old Timmy (1956) appears in an individual volume, illustrated with brand new colour art by Jamie Littler.

Hodder Children's Books

George's Hair Is Too Long

Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler
Contributors:
Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler
Hodder Children's Books

Five and a Half-Term Adventure

Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler
Contributors:
Enid Blyton, Jamie Littler

Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog find excitement and adventure wherever they go in Enid Blyton's most popular series. George's dog Timmy sniffs out an adventure when he spots some suspicious-looking passengers on a train. He is very interested in one of them, but what has he spotted?Can the Famous Five solve this mystery?In addition to the Famous Five novels, Enid Blyton wrote a clutch of short stories based on the characters. These were published in magazines and collected in the Famous Five Short Story Collection (Hodder). For the first time, the complete and original text of Five and a Half-Term Adventure (1956) appears in an individual volume, illustrated with brand new colour art by Jamie Littler.

Orchard Books

Goldilocks and the Pea

Katie Dale
Authors:
Katie Dale
Franklin Watts

Elizabeth I

Harriet Castor
Authors:
Harriet Castor

Exciting stories about famous people, outlining their lives and the important events which made them memorable. Every page features easy-to-follow text and a black-and-white line drawing to help bring these events to life. Each title gives further facts about the famous person and the times in which he or she lived, plus a comprehensive time line detailing key dates. When Elizabeth I becomes queen, she is determined to be a great Tudor queen - and do it on her own! She rules for almost 45 years, beats the Spanish Armada and wins the love of her people. Find out all about the life of Elizabeth I with this story that is packed with all the facts.

Franklin Watts

Henry VIII

Harriet Castor
Authors:
Harriet Castor
Franklin Watts

Anne Frank

Harriet Castor
Authors:
Harriet Castor

When Anne Frank is given a diary, she starts to write to her made-up friend, Kitty. But during World War II Anne and her family are forced to hide from the Nazi Germans. Find out all about the diary of Anne Frank with this story that is packed with all the facts and colourful pictures. This book is part of a series of books, Famous People, Famous Lives, which are suitable for ages 6-12. They tell the stories of famous men and women and great events in history. Written by successful authors, they are enjoyable reads which are packed with facts and illustrations.

Orchard Books

A Fiend in Need

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Franklin Watts

Florence Nightingale

Emma Fischel
Authors:
Emma Fischel

Exciting stories about famous people, outlining their lives and the important events which made them memorable. Every page features easy-to-follow text and a black-and-white line drawing to help bring these events to life. Each title gives further facts about the famous person and the times in which he or she lived, plus a comprehensive time line detailing key dates. Florence Nightingale tells the story of how this Victorian woman defied her family and friends to take up the unpopular profession of nursing and changed the way hospitals were run.

Hodder Children's Books

Case File 9: The Case of the Defective Detective

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton

A new generation Famous Five: Jo, Dylan, Allie, and Max are the children of the four kids - and not forgetting Timmy II to make up the Five!In book nine, the Five get competition. Can a teen detective be better than the Famous 5?The Famous Five meet Scooby Doo! All the heritage of the original Famous Five - adventure, mystery, action - combined with a great modern-day feel and lots of laughs.All 24 books in the series feature black and white inside illustrations and have been adapted into an animated television series for the Disney Channel.

Hodder Children's Books

Case File 10: The Case of Allie's Really Very Bad Singing

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton
Hodder Children's Books

Famous 5 on the Case: Case File 11 : The Case of the Medieval Meathead

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton

A new generation Famous Five: Jo, Dylan, Allie, and Max are the children of the four kids - and not forgetting Timmy II to make up the Five!In book eleven, the Royal Treasury of Avalon Island is stolen!The Famous Five meet Scooby Doo! All the heritage of the original Famous Five - adventure, mystery, action - combined with a great modern-day feel and lots of laughs.All 24 books in the series feature black and white inside illustrations and have been adapted into an animated television series for the Disney Channel.

Hodder Children's Books

Case File 12: The Case of the Messy Mucked Up Masterpiece

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton

A new generation Famous Five: Jo, Dylan, Allie, and Max are the children of the four kids - and not forgetting Timmy II to make up the Five!In book twelve, the Famous 5 need to find out who damaged the famous painting and why.The Famous Five meet Scooby Doo! All the heritage of the original Famous Five - adventure, mystery, action - combined with a great modern-day feel and lots of laughs.All 24 books in the series feature black and white inside illustrations and have been adapted into an animated television series for the Disney Channel.

Hodder Children's Books

Famous 5 on the Case: Case File 13: The Case of the Guy Who Makes You Act Like a Chicken

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton
Hodder Children's Books

Case File 14: The Case of the Felon with Frosty Fingers

Enid Blyton
Authors:
Enid Blyton

A new generation Famous Five: Jo, Dylan, Allie, and Max are the children of the four kids - and not forgetting Timmy II to make up the Five!In book fourteen, the Famous 5 need to catch a cow-snatcher at work in Falcongate.The Famous Five meet Scooby Doo! All the heritage of the original Famous Five - adventure, mystery, action - combined with a great modern-day feel and lots of laughs.All 24 books in the series feature black and white inside illustrations and have been adapted into an animated television series for the Disney Channel.