Jamie Thomson - Dark Lord: The Teenage Years - Hachette Children's Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781408316559
    • Publication date:06 Oct 2011
Books in this series

Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

Book 1

By Jamie Thomson

  • Paperback
  • £6.99

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret.

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help.
And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.

Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2

Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Biographical Notes

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781408315118
  • Publication date: 09 Feb 2017
  • Page count: 352
  • Imprint: Orchard Books
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
Dark Lord is a wonderfully absurd take on beings from another planet — Michael Rosen, Roald Dahl Funny Prize judge
Very funny, very silly... brilliant concept. — Bookseller
One of the most original children's books of the year. — Daily Express
"CHILDREN'S BOOK OF THE WEEK" This funny book in the Fabled Lands series is based on an ingenious idea. — Sunday Times
Funny, utterly silly and enjoyable book, which lots of young readers will love. — Bookbag
Wonderfully original, completely mad. — Lovereading
It's funny-clever as well as funny-silly — Mel Giedroyc, Roald Dahl Funny Prize Judge 2012
A perfect novel for computer games-obsessed boys. — Sunday Telegraph
Laugh-out-loud funny and often touching. — Queens Park Books
Amazing, fantastic... great to read. — Skye Turnbull- 9 year old reviewer
Hilarious. — Chicklish
This is hilarious, and is set to have us inferior puny humans laughing out loud... It really is a work of 'evil genius'. — LiteraryLoves.com
Perfect deadpan humor... wickedly funny, brilliantly told stuff, and you'll never have more fun cheering for evil. — BoingBoing.net
Comic fantasy which won this year's Roald Dahl Funny Prize. — Sunday Express
There are lashings of fantasy and adventure but what makes Dark Lord tick is the humour. * * * * — Daily Telegraph
A funny, whacky, page-turning tale. — Good Book Guide
Laugh out loud funny and entertaining, with a surprisingly endearing central character: great fun. — East Anglian Daily Times
Orchard Books

Help! I Smell a Monster

Justin Davies
Authors:
Justin Davies
Orchard Books

Adventure Duck Versus Power Pug!

Steve Cole, Aleksei Bitskoff
Contributors:
Steve Cole, Aleksei Bitskoff

There's no ducking out - it's time for this ordinary, wise-quacking duck to become . . . A Hero!Adventure Duck didn't ask for greatness. All he wanted was his nest on the duckpond and plenty of soggy bread to eat. But when a meteor gives him superpowers, he knows he must fly into battle and defeat the forces of evil.Every superhero needs a nemesis, and Adventure Duck finds a pint-sized one in Power Pug. This tiny arch-villain is plotting to take over the world with his hypnotic stare and an army of hench-animals. Luckily, Adventure Duck has helpers, too. There's Yoki - a mystical, moustachioed egg - and Neon Zebra, Adventure Duck's karate-kicking sidekick.Can Adventure Duck and his friends stop Power Pug in this egg-ceptionally funny, action-packed adventure?

Wren & Rook

Natural Wonders of the World

Molly Oldfield, Federica Bordoni
Contributors:
Molly Oldfield, Federica Bordoni

Hodder Children's Books

The Colour of Happy

Laura Baker, Angie Rozelaar
Contributors:
Laura Baker, Angie Rozelaar

A beautiful exploration of feelings shown through colour as one little boy navigates a range of emotions - from happiness and excitement to hope and love, all on his way to present a gift to his mum.Blue is for the calm I feel wandering in the spring.Yellow is for happy when I spot a special thing.This book is the perfect introduction to both emotions and colours.

Franklin Watts

Robin Hood and the Golden Arrow

Elizabeth Dale
Authors:
Elizabeth Dale

Robin Hood is a wanted outlaw and it is up to the Sheriff of Nottingham to catch him. The Sheriff cunningly plans an archery competition knowing Robin Hood will not be able to resist entering ... but Robin Hood is also a master of disguises - so who will have the last laugh? This story is part of Reading Champion, a series carefully linked to book bands to encourage independent reading skills, developed with Dr Sue Bodman and Glen Franklin of UCL Institute of Education (IOE).Fantastic, original stories are accompanied by engaging artwork and a reading activity. Each book has been carefully graded so that it can be matched to a child's reading ability, encouraging reading for pleasure.

Franklin Watts

Werewolf

Steve Skidmore, Steve Barlow
Authors:
Steve Skidmore, Steve Barlow

Take on the role of the Monster Hunter in this fully interactive, flick-through-the pages, choose-your-own-destiny adventure story.YOU are the Monster Hunter, protecting the world from creatures in the shadows. Werewolves are runningwild in Russia. You're sent into the snow to stop them in their tracks...Written by the award-winning duo Steve Barlow and Steve SkidmoreAge appropriate for 8+. Also suitable for reluctant readers and less confident older readers. Printed using a font approved by the British Dyslexia Association.

Franklin Watts

Comparing Countries: Games and Entertainment (English/French)

Sabrina Crewe
Authors:
Sabrina Crewe

How do children have fun in other countries? Travel the world with Games and Entertainment to see the activities that people enjoy, from sport and games to art and music. Comparing Countries is a groundbreaking non-fiction dual-language series which compares and contrasts ways of life in ten different countries around the world. Presented in two different languages, each title explores a topic common to all children, from homes to festivals, highlighting what makes us different and what we all have in common. This series provides great support to geography learning, as well as helping young language learners improve their reading skills.Perfect for readers aged 7 and up.

Franklin Watts

Mutant

Steve Skidmore, Steve Barlow
Authors:
Steve Skidmore, Steve Barlow

Take on the role of the Monster Hunter in this fully interactive, flick-through-the pages, choose-your-own-destiny adventure story.YOU are an agent of G.H.O.S.T. - protecting the world from creatures in the shadows. Dr Omega is creating mutanthumans - turning them into monsters. Your mission is to stop her experiments.Written by the award-winning duo Steve Barlow and Steve SkidmoreAge appropriate for 8+. Also suitable for reluctant readers and less confident older readers. Printed using a font approved by the British Dyslexia Association.

Franklin Watts

Comparing Countries: Games and Entertainment (English/Spanish)

Sabrina Crewe
Authors:
Sabrina Crewe
Franklin Watts

Comparing Countries: Games and Entertainment (English/Polish)

Sabrina Crewe
Authors:
Sabrina Crewe

How do children have fun in other countries? Travel the world with Games and Entertainment to see the activities that people enjoy, from sport and games to art and music. Comparing Countries is a groundbreaking non-fiction dual-language series which compares and contrasts ways of life in ten different countries around the world. Presented in two different languages, each title explores a topic common to all children, from homes to festivals, highlighting what makes us different and what we all have in common. This series provides great support to geography learning, as well as helping young language learners improve their reading skills.Perfect for readers aged 7 and up.

Franklin Watts

Comparing Countries: Games and Entertainment (English/Urdu)

Sabrina Crewe
Authors:
Sabrina Crewe

How do children have fun in other countries? Travel the world with Games and Entertainment to see the activities that people enjoy, from sport and games to art and music. Comparing Countries is a groundbreaking non-fiction dual-language series which compares and contrasts ways of life in ten different countries around the world. Presented in two different languages, each title explores a topic common to all children, from homes to festivals, highlighting what makes us different and what we all have in common. This series provides great support to geography learning, as well as helping young language learners improve their reading skills.Perfect for readers aged 7 and up.

Franklin Watts

Comparing Countries: Games and Entertainment (English/Arabic)

Sabrina Crewe
Authors:
Sabrina Crewe

How do children have fun in other countries? Travel the world with Games and Entertainment to see the activities that people enjoy, from sport and games to art and music. Comparing Countries is a groundbreaking non-fiction dual-language series which compares and contrasts ways of life in ten different countries around the world. Presented in two different languages, each title explores a topic common to all children, from homes to festivals, highlighting what makes us different and what we all have in common. This series provides great support to geography learning, as well as helping young language learners improve their reading skills.Perfect for readers aged 7 and up.

Franklin Watts

Enter The Penguin

Steve Barlow, Steve Skidmore
Authors:
Steve Barlow, Steve Skidmore
Hodder Children's Books

Frockodile

Jeanne Willis, Stephanie Laberis
Contributors:
Jeanne Willis, Stephanie Laberis

Celebrating acceptance and being who you really are, this joyful story is about Cliff, the crocodile who wants to wear a dress.When the hyenas laugh at Cliff, he pretends he's dressing up for a play. But no play exists! Luckily his friend Freddy comes to the rescue and creates a show for Cliff to star in. But what will his dad say when he sees him?A funny story about inclusion and supporting your friends and family illustrated with exuberance.Jeanne Willis is an award-winning author who has written over 150 books, including The Bog Baby, the Paddington Movie novelisation and Tadpole's Promise.

Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

The Ultimate Book Hugger's Guide

Chris Colfer
Authors:
Chris Colfer

A behind-the-scenes look at the world of the Land of Stories - the No.1 New York Times bestselling series, from Golden Globe-winning actor, Chris Colfer.A combination travel guide, encyclopedia, and exciting fan compendium, this ultimate guidebook includes sections such as "Who's Who," "Places to Go," and "Trinkets, Treasures, and Other Things" that explore the backgrounds and histories of the many characters, places, and magic items throughout the beloved Land of Stories series.Perfect for new and mega-fans alike, this full-colour guidebook illustrated by series artist Brandon Dorman captures the magical ins and outs of the Land of Stories we know and love and delivers new, never-before-seen art and information sure to thrill and satisfy readers.

Hodder Children's Books

The Invincible Tony Spears: Lost in Space

Neal Layton
Authors:
Neal Layton
Orchard Books

Princess Prom: Two magical adventures in one!

Rosie Banks
Authors:
Rosie Banks
Orchard Books

Cara the Coding Fairy

Daisy Meadows
Authors:
Daisy Meadows

Three stories in one! Join Rachel and Kirsty for a magical adventure with another fairy friend in this bestselling and much-loved series for girls aged 5 and up!Join Kirsty, Rachel and Cara for a brand-new fairy adventure!Best friends Rachel and Kirsty are very excited to be going to a coding convention! They can't wait to start building their own programmes and apps. But naughty Jack Frost has other plans - to steal the magic of coding for himself!Have you read any other Rainbow Magic books? Try Ruby the Red Fairy to find out how Kirsty and Rachel's adventures began.

Wayland

What Is Fake News?

Izzi Howell
Authors:
Izzi Howell
Wayland

Impressionism

Susie Brooks
Authors:
Susie Brooks

Discover the art movements that shaped our worldWhen the Impressionists first started exhibiting, they shocked the world with their bold brushstrokes and compositions and their adventurous use of colour. Today, over 150 years later, Impressionism is celebrated as an international success story, making artists such as Monet, Renoir and Degas household names. For readers aged 9 and up, Inside Art Movements provides an accessible and in-depth guide to some of the most popular and significant art movements.