Jamie Thomson - Dark Lord: The Teenage Years - Hachette Children's Group

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    • ISBN:9781408316559
    • Publication date:06 Oct 2011
Books in this series

Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

Book 1

By Jamie Thomson

  • Paperback
  • £6.99

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret.

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help.
And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.

Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2

Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Biographical Notes

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781408315118
  • Publication date: 09 Feb 2017
  • Page count: 352
  • Imprint: Orchard Books
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
Dark Lord is a wonderfully absurd take on beings from another planet — Michael Rosen, Roald Dahl Funny Prize judge
Very funny, very silly... brilliant concept. — Bookseller
One of the most original children's books of the year. — Daily Express
"CHILDREN'S BOOK OF THE WEEK" This funny book in the Fabled Lands series is based on an ingenious idea. — Sunday Times
Funny, utterly silly and enjoyable book, which lots of young readers will love. — Bookbag
Wonderfully original, completely mad. — Lovereading
It's funny-clever as well as funny-silly — Mel Giedroyc, Roald Dahl Funny Prize Judge 2012
A perfect novel for computer games-obsessed boys. — Sunday Telegraph
Laugh-out-loud funny and often touching. — Queens Park Books
Amazing, fantastic... great to read. — Skye Turnbull- 9 year old reviewer
Hilarious. — Chicklish
This is hilarious, and is set to have us inferior puny humans laughing out loud... It really is a work of 'evil genius'. — LiteraryLoves.com
Perfect deadpan humor... wickedly funny, brilliantly told stuff, and you'll never have more fun cheering for evil. — BoingBoing.net
Comic fantasy which won this year's Roald Dahl Funny Prize. — Sunday Express
There are lashings of fantasy and adventure but what makes Dark Lord tick is the humour. * * * * — Daily Telegraph
A funny, whacky, page-turning tale. — Good Book Guide
Laugh out loud funny and entertaining, with a surprisingly endearing central character: great fun. — East Anglian Daily Times
Orchard Books

Headmaster of Doom

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

A Galaxy Too Far

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Harry was just an ordinary teenage boy from Croydon when he was abducted by aliens and accidentally became the captain of their starship. His quest to get back home to Earth continues - but now he's acquired an alien 'son' and a new spacecraft, and he's being pursued by an eight-foot robot bounty hunter...Could this be a galaxy too far for Harry?Another hilarious story from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of the DARK LORD series.

Orchard Books

The Wrong Side of the Galaxy

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Hodder Children's Books

Goldy, Superhamster

Ian Whybrow, Mark Beech
Contributors:
Ian Whybrow, Mark Beech
Orchard Books

Eternal Detention

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Fear me, o miserable worm!I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed...BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame-Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil-Torment by the Hewer of LimbsTHE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Hodder Children's Books

Foals in the Field

Lucy Daniels
Authors:
Lucy Daniels

Animal Ark is the veterinary surgery run by Mandy Hope's parents. If there are animals to be protected or looked after, Mandy is always there to help.When twin foals are born on Drysdale Farm, Mandy and James help their owner, Nick Summers. Nick is so busy building up the farm's stables, he doesn't have time to care for the sick foals. And if he isn't careful, he'll have to sell the farm, too. What will happen to the foals? Can Mandy save the day?FOALS IN THE FIELD is one of the best-loved ANIMAL ARK stories. Have you read them all?

Orchard Books

A Fiend in Need

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime.And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Adam Blade

Adam Blade is the name for a small collective of authors who have been writing the bestselling series Beast Quest and Sea Quest for ten years! Beast Quest has now sold over 10 million copies. The newest series from the Adam Blade team is called Team Hero - it launches in Summer 2017. You can find out more about all these amazing adventures at the series websites: seaquestbooks.co.uk and teamherobooks.co.uk

Alan Childs

Alan Childs has taught for thirty years in primary and middle schools, and organizes 'living history' projects for children. He published his first book in 1991, a Tudor spy story called 'Under the Rose'.

Alex T. Smith

Alex graduated from Coventry University with a degree in Illustration and won second place in the Macmillan Prize for Children's Illustration. Claude won the 5-9 young fiction Sainsbury's Children's Book Award, was selected for the Waterstone's Children's Book Prize, the Richard and Judy Book Club and is soon to be a TV star on Disney Junior with 52 episodes airing in 2017. Alex T. Smith is a World Book Day Illustrator.

Andy Riley

Andy Riley is a highly successful cartoonist and comedy scriptwriter. TV writing credits include HBO's Veep, Gangsta Granny, Robbie the Reindeer, Little Britain and Black Books. Film credits include The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists and Gnomeo and Juliet. His bestselling books include The Bunny Suicides series.

Angela Royston

Angela Royston is an extremely well known writer of children's educational books. Her library of titles includes books about space, science, geography, history, social sciences and literacy, just to name a few! Angela regularly visits schools to find out what children are learning and exploring in the classroom, and discusses many of her book titles with children during these visits. Angela is married with children, and lives and works in London.

Anita Ganeri

Anita Ganeri is an award-winning author of children's information books. She has been a writer for 20 years, after working in-house for Usborne Publishing and Walker Books. She specialises in the natural world, religion and mythology but is always looking for new challenges. Among her many titles are the best-selling 'Horrible Geography' series for Scholastic Children's Books which won the Blue Peter Book Award for the Best Book with Facts in 2009 and the Tivy Education Medal from the Royal Scottish Geographical Society for an outstanding contribution to geographical education. Anita lives in northern England with her husband, children, dogs and cat. She enjoys reading, walking the Moors, playing tennis and dreaming of winning Wimbledon.

Anita Naik

Anita Naik is a freelance writer and the author of 50 books, as well as being a mum of two. She is currently the agony aunt on Woman's Own magazine, and a contributor to a number of parenting sites, including the Huffington Post, writing about education, bullying, sex education and teenagers. She can be found tweeting @AnitaNaik or at www.anitanaik.co.uk.

Anna Claybourne

Anna Claybourne has written over 150 children's books on all kinds of subjects, from sharks, black holes and splitting the atom to how to draw, Shakespeare's life, and Greek myths and legends. She knows a lot about conservation in the rain forests of Costa Rica as she once volunteered there for threw months. She likes space, sewing and music, plays the trombone and loves going camping.

Annabel Pitcher

Annabel graduated from Oxford University with a degree in English Literature and an ambition to be a children's author. She had a variety of jobs before deciding to travel the world and focus on writing. Annabel now lives in Yorkshire with her husband and two young sons.Her first book, MY SISTER LIVES ON THE MANTELPIECE, won the Branford Boase and a Betty Trask Award in 2012 and KETCHUP CLOUDS won the 2014 Waterstones Children's Prize. Annabel's work has been shortlisted for numerous prestigious awards including the Dylan Thomas Prize, the Galaxy British Book Award and the Red House Children's Book Award and longlisted for the Guardian Children's Fiction Prize and the 2012 CILIP Carnegie Medal.Visit Annabel's website at www.annabelpitcher.com and follow her on Twitter @APitcherAuthor.

Annalees Lim

Having completed a BA in Designs for Film and Television and a postgraduate course in Prop Making, Annalees spent her early career in production design and prop making for theatre, independent film and television. More recently, she has founded Makers and Creators in her capacity as arts practitioner, and runs craft workshops for various community groups, including children and young people with additional needs, as well as vulnerable adults.

Anne Walter

Anne Walter is a freelance children's book writer with a passion for fairy tale and fantasy stories. She has retold many famous fairy tales for reluctant readers, including a set of Hopscotch Fairy Tales. She lives and works in London.

Brian Moses

Brian Moses lives in the village of Etchingham with his wife Anne, a loopy labrador called Honey and a collection of bad-tempered chickens.He first worked as a teacher but has now been a professional children's poet since 1988. To date he has over 200 books published including volumes of his own poetry such as Holding the Hands of Angels (Salt) and Behind the Staffroom Door (Macmillan), anthologies such as The Secret Lives of Teachers and Aliens Stole My Underpants (both Macmillan), picture books such as Beetle in the Bathroom and Trouble at the Dinosaur Cafe (both Puffin) and non-fiction titles such as Titanic: Lost & Saved (Wayland). Over 1 million copies of Brian's poetry books have now been sold by Macmillan and in 2005 he was nominated for both the CLPE Award and the Spoken Word Award. Brian also visits schools to run writing workshops and perform his own poetry and percussion shows. To date he has visited well over 2500 schools and libraries throughout the UK. He has made several appearances at the Edinburgh Festival, been writer in residence at Castle Cornet on Guernsey, on the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Light Railway and at RAF schools in Cyprus. Recently he has visited several International schools in Germany, Switzerland, Belgium, Italy, Spain, France and Ireland.He has performed his poetry at Borders on Second Avenue, New York and in September 2006 he was invited to Iceland to take part in 'Kids in the Marsh' - a festival of children's poetry and song. At the request of Prince Charles he spoke at the Prince's Summer School for Teachers in 2007 at Cambridge University. He is one of ten children's poets invited by then Poet Laureate Andrew Motion to feature on the National Poetry Archive.Favourite book: 'Turtle Diary' by Russell Hoban.Favourite Movie: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Favourite Music: Bob Dylan

Caryl Hart

Caryl Hart is the author of many bestselling books for children, including the hugely successful How to Grow A Dinosaur and The Princess and the Peas. She is the winner of the Stockport Children's Book Award, the Sheffield Children's Book Award and the Lancashire Share a Story Award. Caryl lives on the top of a windy hill in the Peak District with her guitar-playing husband, two cheeky daughters, one extremely fluffy black cat, a goldfish, four hens and an invisible dog called Paddy.