Jamie Thomson - Dark Lord: The Teenage Years - Hachette Children's Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781408316559
    • Publication date:06 Oct 2011
Books in this series

Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

Book 1

By Jamie Thomson

  • Paperback
  • £6.99

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret.

Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize!

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help.
And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.

Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2

Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Biographical Notes

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781408315118
  • Publication date: 09 Feb 2017
  • Page count: 352
  • Imprint: Orchard Books
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) — The Sunday Times
Dark Lord is a wonderfully absurd take on beings from another planet — Michael Rosen, Roald Dahl Funny Prize judge
Very funny, very silly... brilliant concept. — Bookseller
One of the most original children's books of the year. — Daily Express
"CHILDREN'S BOOK OF THE WEEK" This funny book in the Fabled Lands series is based on an ingenious idea. — Sunday Times
Funny, utterly silly and enjoyable book, which lots of young readers will love. — Bookbag
Wonderfully original, completely mad. — Lovereading
It's funny-clever as well as funny-silly — Mel Giedroyc, Roald Dahl Funny Prize Judge 2012
A perfect novel for computer games-obsessed boys. — Sunday Telegraph
Laugh-out-loud funny and often touching. — Queens Park Books
Amazing, fantastic... great to read. — Skye Turnbull- 9 year old reviewer
Hilarious. — Chicklish
This is hilarious, and is set to have us inferior puny humans laughing out loud... It really is a work of 'evil genius'. — LiteraryLoves.com
Perfect deadpan humor... wickedly funny, brilliantly told stuff, and you'll never have more fun cheering for evil. — BoingBoing.net
Comic fantasy which won this year's Roald Dahl Funny Prize. — Sunday Express
There are lashings of fantasy and adventure but what makes Dark Lord tick is the humour. * * * * — Daily Telegraph
A funny, whacky, page-turning tale. — Good Book Guide
Laugh out loud funny and entertaining, with a surprisingly endearing central character: great fun. — East Anglian Daily Times
Orchard Books

Headmaster of Doom

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

A Galaxy Too Far

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Harry was just an ordinary teenage boy from Croydon when he was abducted by aliens and accidentally became the captain of their starship. His quest to get back home to Earth continues - but now he's acquired an alien 'son' and a new spacecraft, and he's being pursued by an eight-foot robot bounty hunter...Could this be a galaxy too far for Harry?Another hilarious story from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of the DARK LORD series.

Orchard Books

The Wrong Side of the Galaxy

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

Eternal Detention

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Fear me, o miserable worm!I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed...BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame-Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil-Torment by the Hewer of LimbsTHE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Orchard Books

A Fiend in Need

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Hodder Children's Books

Summer Special: Diamond Charm

Jenny Oldfield
Authors:
Jenny Oldfield

This is a recipe for trouble for ranch owner, Sandy Scott. But her daughter Kirstie is undaunted by her mother's warnings. She's at her happiest riding the trails through the tall forests and deep canyons of the Meltwater Range...It's midsummer and a busy time at the ranch. So why does Sandy Scott let Taryn West stay for free? Kirstie soon learns that Taryn's life has recently fallen apart - her mom is missing presumed dead and her dad is the chief suspect. When novice rider Taryn disappears on her favourite horse, Diamond Charm, Kirstie sets off to track her down - before they find themselves battling to save the life of another member of this torn and tragic family ...

Hodder Children's Books

Bend It Like Beckham

Narinder Dhami
Authors:
Narinder Dhami
Hodder Children's Books

3: Chiquitita

Jenny Oldfield
Authors:
Jenny Oldfield
Hodder Children's Books

A Pilgrim's Progress

Geraldine McCaughrean, Jason Cockroft
Contributors:
Geraldine McCaughrean, Jason Cockroft
Hodder Children's Books

Silver Spur

Jenny Oldfield
Authors:
Jenny Oldfield

A recipe for trouble for ranch owner, Sandy Scott. But her daughter, Kirstie is undaunted by her mother's warnings. She's at her happiest riding the trails through the tall forests and deep canyons of the Meltwater Range...The ranch's new wrangler, Troy Hendren, is full of stories of his years spent cowboying in Montana and his faithful horse, Silver Spur. According to Troy, Silver Spur can spin on a ten-cent piece and understand every word he says. But oldtimer Hadley Crane is suspicious of this flashy cowboy. When a guest mislays an antique gold locket, is Hadley right in pointing the finger at Troy?

Hodder Children's Books

Little Vixen

Jenny Oldfield
Authors:
Jenny Oldfield

Brad Martin, a famous reining expert, visits Half Moon Ranch with his champion horse, Little Vixen. Kirstie adores the horse but suspects the man - especially when she sees him getting close to her mother. She's heard he's fallen on hard times and is worried he's after a share of the Half Moon profits. Her worry turns to alarm when a sudden fire traps Little Vixen in the barn. Is Martin to blame? If so, why would he put his own horse in danger? Kirstie aims to untangle the truth from the lies...

Hodder Children's Books

Navaho Joe

Jenny Oldfield
Authors:
Jenny Oldfield

Kirstie Scott lives at Half-Moon Ranch, where her mother runs a pony trekking centre. She has her own palomino pony and together they love riding the local trails. Storms, floods and earth tremors are all facts of life in this wild terrain, and at times the landscape itself proves the enemy to the horses and riders.A mystery horse has appeared on Eagle's Peak. He's the perfect Native American mustang - strong, athletic, wilful... And lost! Kirstie names the beautiful Appaloosa Joe. But her attempts to tempt him down to Half-Moon Ranch fail. When two strangers turn up claiming ownership, Kirstie should be relieved; with winter closing in, Joe surely won't survive much longer out on the peak. But somehow she doesn't trust the strangers - and nor, it seems, does Joe...

Hodder Children's Books

Red Eyes At Night

Michael Morpurgo, Tony Ross
Contributors:
Michael Morpurgo, Tony Ross

Catherine Fisher

Catherine Fisher is an award-winning fantasy writer and author of the New York Times bestseller Incarceron. The Oracle was shortlisted for the Whitbread Award 2003, The Conjuror's Game for the Smarties Award, The Snow-Walker's Son for the WH Smith Mind Boggling Award, The Candle Man won the Tir-Na-n'Og Award, and Corbenic was shortlisted. Author of many books for children and two volumes of award-winning poetry, she is particularly well-known in Wales and has been named as the first Welsh Young People's Laureate.

Charlie Fletcher

Having studied English Literature at university , Charlie began his career in the film business carrying cans of film round Soho and making very bad cups of tea on the principal that he'd then be asked to do something a bit more interesting, a strategy that he recommends to anyone starting out as a tea-boy. He progressed to the BBC where he worked in film editing on everything from Drama to Current Affairs. He then went to California where he morphed into a screenwriter, having been awarded a Warner Brothers Fellowship in Screenwriting at USC School of Cinema and TV. He's written screenplays for Tri-Star, MGM, Paramount and Warner Bros among others. He continues to write for the movies, and also television. He still thinks that being a film editor is a pretty damn fine way to learn about story-telling in general, and narrative structure and pacing in particular. Charlie also moved into other types of writing including magazine features, a computer game and as both a national Sunday newspaper columnist and restaurant reviewer. Finally he found the way to combine all those writing strands and produced some rattling-good children's books! The Stoneheart trilogy has been a massive international hit and Charlie has recently sold the movie rights of Stoneheart to Paramount. He has also been asked to write the screenplay himself, which just shows you should never make plans, since he actually wrote the books to get away from Hollywood for a bit... In his personal life, Charlie met and married his wife, a fellow Scot, in LA. They have two children, whom Charlie calls his first, most important, and toughest audience. They've all now returned from California and live in Edinburgh with a terrier called Archie.

Charmian Hussey

Charmian Hussey began her career modelling clothes for top couture and fashion houses in London. Later she trained as an archaeologist, originally studying at the University of London, Institute of Archaeology and working on excavations in Great Britain and the Middle East. On her return from two years work and research in Turkey she imported an ancient breed of Turkish dogs - now known in the United Kingdom as Anatolian Karabash.

David Dean

David Dean studied illustration at Manchester Metropolitan University and has been working as an illustrator since 1999. He has to date created covers for nearly 40 books including Lauren St. John's THE WHITE GIRAFFE and DOLPHIN SONG (both Orion), as well as many other illustrations for books, magazines, CDs, posters and advertisements. He lives (with his cat) in Cheshire.

David Melling

David Melling has been shortlisted for the Kate Greenaway Medal, the Smarties Book Award and the Independent Booksellers Award. His Hugless Douglas books have sold over 1.4 million copies worldwide, and the loveable brown bear has starred in a World Book Day book as well as his own theatre show. Before becoming an internationally acclaimed author-illustrator, David worked as an animation artist for films including the much-loved Father Christmas by Raymond Briggs. One of his most popular picture books The Tale of Jack Frost was animated and shown on BBC1 on Christmas Day.

David Roberts

David Roberts is a hugely successful illustrator who has illustrated books by Philip Ardagh, Julia Donaldson, Jacqueline Wilson and Chris Priestley. He's also the creator of Dirty Bertie and the NEW YORK TIMES bestselling artist of picture books IGGY PECK, ARCHITECT and ROSIE REVERE, ENGINEER. David lives in London.

Dylan Thomas

Dylan Thomas was born in Swansea on 27 October 1914, the son of a senior English master. On leaving school he worked on the South Wales Evening Post before embarking on his literary career in London. Not only a poet, he wrote short stories, film scripts, features and radio plays, the most famous being Under Milk Wood. On 9 November 1953, shortly after his thirty-ninth birthday, he collapsed and died in New York city. He is buried in Laugharne, Carmarthenshire, which had become his main home since 1949. In 1982 a memorial stone to commemorate him was unveiled in 'Poet's Corner' in Westminster Abbey.