Jamie Thomson - Eternal Detention - Hachette Children's Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781408330289
    • Publication date:03 Apr 2014
Books in this series

Eternal Detention

Book 3

By Jamie Thomson

  • Paperback
  • £6.99

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.

Fear me, o miserable worm!

I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed...

BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

-Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame
-Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil
-Torment by the Hewer of Limbs

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Biographical Notes

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781408330258
  • Publication date: 03 Apr 2014
  • Page count: 288
  • Imprint: Orchard Books
A lot of fun! Unusual, funny and absurd. — Parents in Touch
A lot of fun! Unusual, funny and absurd. — Parents in Touch
Really quirky and very very funny — Lewis Beaumont, Liberton High, Teen Titles
Really quirky and very very funny — Lewis Beaumont, Liberton High, Teen Titles
Hodder Children's Books

A Boy Called Ocean

Chris Higgins
Authors:
Chris Higgins

One boy stranded at sea. One girl back on land. One ocean between them. The only thing willing him to survive is the thought of her. A romance with bite, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Nicola Yoon. Sometimes you have to lose yourself, to find each other.Kai has always been best friends with Jen; ever since he and his mum moved to Cornwall when he was small. But now his feelings are deepening. It's ridiculous to imagine Jen would feel the same, especially since she has been hanging out with surf-pro Macca, the guy everyone fancies. Frustrated by his feelings, Kai makes a snap decision that will put his life in great danger. Stranded at sea, time is running out. With only his thoughts to occupy him, he must face some buried truths about his past. And confront his future with the girl back on shore, if he can reach it ... if the ocean doesn't take him first.

Pat-a-Cake

Battle of the HQs

Pat-a-Cake
Authors:
Pat-a-Cake

It's time to be a hero! By day, they are Connor, Greg and Amaya, but by night they are Catboy, Gekko and Owlette, the PJ Masks. This cool adventure storybook is based on the episode 'Owlette and the Battling Headquarters' - Amaya notices that the Ninjalinos are stealing all the school buses, and it turns out that Night Ninja is using the stolen buses to build a headquarters to rival the PJ Masks'! At first Owlette is worried that the PJ Masks' HQ cannot fight back power-for-power, but eventually the PJ Masks work together to beat the baddies. PJ Masks all shout hooray!Also available:PJ Masks: Pedal Power, PJ Masks: Meet the PJ masks sticker book, PJ Masks: Annual 2018PJ Masks (c) Frog Box / Entertainment One UK Limited / Walt Disney EMEA Productions Limited 2014

Pat-a-Cake

Pedal Power

Pat-a-Cake
Authors:
Pat-a-Cake
Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Rubies and Runaways

Janine Beacham
Authors:
Janine Beacham
Franklin Watts

The Toy Shop Train

Jackie Walter, Marcus Cutler
Contributors:
Jackie Walter, Marcus Cutler

Reading Champion offers independent reading books for children to practise and reinforce their developing reading skills.Fantastic, original stories are accompanied by engaging artwork and a reading activity. Each book has been carefully graded so that it can be matched to a child's reading ability, encouraging reading for pleasure.Independent Reading Pink 1B stories are perfect for children aged 4+ who are reading at book band 1B (Pink) in classroom reading lessons.In this story, the toys have a fun-filled ride on the toy shop train!

Hodder Children's Books

The True Colour of Forever

Carrie Firestone
Authors:
Carrie Firestone

An unlikely clique of teens embark on a summer of twitter fame, rebellious good deeds and desperate love in this thought-provoking second novel by the author of The Loose Ends List.After high school senior Sadie helps a baby in distress, she becomes an internet sensation and is introduced to other 'hometown heroes'. Despite all their differences, the five teens hatch passionate plans to secretly right local wrongs. But when they breach the boundaries of their world, they discover that there might be truth in the saying 'no good deed goes unpunished'. For fans of The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks and The Boy Most Likely, this novel combines humour, romance and wisdom while taking on timely issues including teen drug abuse, bullying, ethnic discrimination, and the importance of being kind and doing good.Praise for The Loose Ends List:'A poignant and important story about compassion, love, and the decision to live life on your own terms - right up to the very last minute: all aboard' - Kirkus Reviews'Fans of Jenny Downham's Before I Die or Jonathan Tropper's This Is Where I Leave You will enjoy this unique story about dying on one's own terms. Mentions of drinking, drugs, and sex make this title appropriate for older readers (...) With its fresh, original plot and thought-provoking themes, this title will have a high teen appeal.' - School Library Journal

Orion Children's Books

Crooked Kingdom

Leigh Bardugo
Authors:
Leigh Bardugo

Orchard Books

Headmaster of Doom

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ...Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics.Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.

Hodder Children's Books

Orangeboy

Patrice Lawrence
Authors:
Patrice Lawrence

WINNER OF THE WATERSTONES CHILDREN'S BOOK PRIZE FOR OLDER READERS, SHORTLISTED FOR THE COSTA CHILDREN'S BOOK AWARD AND THE YA BOOK PRIZE"A truly brilliant book." Malorie Blackman"Incredible book. Thank you Patrice Lawrence for such a fresh and riveting piece of fiction." Ben Bailey Smith (Doc Brown)"What a book! Such a gripping, gritty storyline, with such wonderful, believable characters. Loved it." Tanya Landman, author of Buffalo SoldierNot cool enough, not clever enough, not street enough for anyone to notice me. I was the kid people looked straight through.NOT ANY MORE. NOT SINCE MR ORANGE.Sixteen-year-old Marlon has made his mum a promise - he'll never follow his big brother, Andre, down the wrong path. So far, it's been easy, but when a date ends in tragedy, Marlon finds himself hunted. They're after the mysterious Mr Orange, and they're going to use Marlon to get to him. Marlon's out of choices - can he become the person he never wanted to be, to protect everyone he loves?

Orchard Books

A Galaxy Too Far

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Harry was just an ordinary teenage boy from Croydon when he was abducted by aliens and accidentally became the captain of their starship. His quest to get back home to Earth continues - but now he's acquired an alien 'son' and a new spacecraft, and he's being pursued by an eight-foot robot bounty hunter...Could this be a galaxy too far for Harry?Another hilarious story from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of the DARK LORD series.

Orchard Books

The Wearle

Chris d'Lacey
Authors:
Chris d'Lacey

The Wearle came to Erth to find out what happened to their previous colony, who never returned. Gabrial, a young blue dragon, is desperate to prove his worth. But the dragons aren't alone in the mountains. Out beyond the scorch line, Ren, a young hom boy, is fascinated by the 'skalers'. Little does he know that his fate and theirs are linked in ways he could never have imagined.A stunning new fantasy series from the New York Times bestselling author, Chris d'Lacey.

Orchard Books

Cinderella at the Vampire Ball

Laurence Anholt
Authors:
Laurence Anholt
Orchard Books

Mine!

Jerome Keane, Susana De Dios
Contributors:
Jerome Keane, Susana De Dios

Sometimes it's hard to share, but Fox and Horse show the funny side!Fox and Horse were BORED. B.O.R.E.D.There was nothing to do as nothing had happened for a Very Long Time.But then something DID happen. A thing arrived..."It's MINE!" said Horse."It's MINE!" said Fox.One 'thing' between two characters? How is that going to work? Follow Horse and Fox as they eventually learn that playing together is best.Heaps of humour makes this important life lesson easy to learn - with witty text and terrifically funny art.

Orchard Books

The Wrong Side of the Galaxy

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Abducted by aliens, Harry wakes up on his birthday marooned on a spaceship. His only companions: two freaky princess clones, a weird alien-fish-kangaroo hybrid with delusions of grandeur and a ship's computer with a serious attitude problem. It's the worst birthday ever.How is he ever going to get back to Earth now?A brilliantly silly new story from the winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize

Orion Children's Books

Siege and Storm

Leigh Bardugo
Authors:
Leigh Bardugo

Enter the Grishaverse with Book Two of the Shadow and Bone Trilogy by the number one New York Times-bestselling author of Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom. Perfect for fans of Laini Taylor and Sarah J. Maas. Soldier. Summoner. Saint. Alina Starkov's power has grown, but not without a price. She is the Sun Summoner - hunted across the True Sea, haunted by the lives she took on the Shadow Fold. But she and Mal can't outrun their enemies for long.The Darkling is more determined than ever to claim Alina's magic and use it to take the Ravkan throne. With nowhere else to turn, Alina enlists the help of an infamous privateer and sets out to lead the Grisha army.But as the truth of Alina's destiny unfolds, she slips deeper into the Darkling's deadly game of forbidden magic, and further away from her humanity. To save her country, Alina will have to choose between her power and the love she thought would always be her shelter. No victory can come without sacrifice - and only she can face the oncoming storm.Praise for the Grishaverse:"Utterly, extremely bewitching." The Guardian"There's a level of emotional and historical sophistication within Bardugo's original epic fantasy that sets it apart." Vanity Fair"Unlike anything I've ever read." Veronica Roth, bestselling author of Divergent"This is a great choice for teenage fans of George R.R. Martin and J.R.R. Tolkien." RT Book ReviewsRead all the books in the Grishaverse!The Shadow and Bone Trilogy (previously published as The Grisha Trilogy)Shadow and BoneSiege and StormRuin and RisingThe Six of Crows DuologySix of CrowsCrooked KingdomThe Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic

Franklin Watts

Your Teacher

Roy Apps, Nick Sharratt
Contributors:
Roy Apps, Nick Sharratt
Orion Children's Books

Kidnap in the Caribbean

Lauren St John
Authors:
Lauren St John
Orchard Books

A Fiend in Need

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime.And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Orchard Books

Dark Lord: The Teenage Years

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orion Children's Books

The Tail of Emily Windsnap

Liz Kessler, Sarah Gibb
Contributors:
Liz Kessler, Sarah Gibb