index

Orchard Books

Headmaster of Doom

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

A Galaxy Too Far

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

The Wrong Side of the Galaxy

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

Eternal Detention

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson
Orchard Books

A Fiend in Need

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey, has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's otherworldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gathers to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime.And what of Dirk? He continues slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Orchard Books

The Teenage Years

Jamie Thomson
Authors:
Jamie Thomson

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2.Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner, 2012.

Jamie Thomson

Jamie Thomson is the minion and slave of the Dark Lord, Dirk Lloyd. He's an author and games developer who has written numerous choose-your-own-adventure style gamebooks and worked on many computer games from the Tower of Despair (1984) to Warrior Kings: Battles (2003) Jamie Thomson lives in the dungeons below his Master's Iron Tower in East Sussex, where he spends every day writing for his overlord.His book, Dark Lord: The Teenage Years, was the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner.